


Expectations | Canon Ereri Drabbles

by maysunwolf



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:21:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7967602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maysunwolf/pseuds/maysunwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi was not what Eren expected, for better and worse. </p><p>--</p><p>In other words, ereri in a canon setting. It has no end, just my drabbles and headcanons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trust

Levi was never what Eren expected. Not that his expectations were resolute, but from the minute Eren laid eyes on Levi he was inexplicably not the man heard of in peasant or trainee rumor. And that was all Eren knew of Levi. Levi was the strongest soldier, almost a god among men, revered and avoided. Eren never gave thought to why he was avoided. He was someone to admire in ability, to salute as you glimpse him through a crowd of people, but nothing obtainable. There weren’t only positive rumors, Levi was also told to be an apathetic cold-hearted man. He didn’t have friends, he didn’t have family. Loyalties made you weak, and they used Levi as an example of this. End your loyalty at your commander and you will be a better cadet. 

The first few times Eren saw Levi he was saluting. He was watching the Survey Corps trot by on sweat drenched thoroughbreds. Levi was on a dark horse that drew more attention than Levi himself did. Eren thinks he would’ve not even glanced at Levi if it wasn’t for his mare. Eren remembers that Levi looked tired. The whole Corps did. That was the day Eren learned that Levi as a god never existed. 

Eren remembers the first time he talked to Levi. But he wishes he could remember Levi’s exact words more thoroughly. But he guesses it’s fair his fear trumped a captain’s words. Levi was gentler than the rest of the veteran soldiers, so at first Eren trusted him. He had a strong presence, but never big, and his words were never demeaning. Levi sat down, and Eren looked in his eyes, and he never felt Levi took him as a monster. If given time, Eren thinks he could’ve fell in love with Levi then. But Eren wasn’t given time. 

In their next meeting, Levi beat Eren, and Eren was furious. Eren didn’t think of the necessity, the politics behind his beating (but who could blame a kid). All he knew is that Levi hurt him, and betrayed whatever trust was brewing. Levi was not a god, but he could very well be a psychopath. 

When Levi sat beside Eren he was terrified. Eren did not want to play games, and he couldn’t understand how a man who hurt him one moment could ask if he was okay the next. But Eren was also scared because he could not understand how Levi beat him when Levi was the only higher-ranking officer Eren wanted to be closer too. Levi did not demean Eren when they left the court room, he talked sternly, and he was confusing, but there was a tint of timidity in his voice that Eren could not shake off. Levi did not say he was sorry, but he was cautious around Eren in a way that made Eren think maybe he did have emotion. 

When Eren was assigned to Levi’s squad, he learned things he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Levi was high-strung, and not in a helpful way. At first Eren assumed Levi liked cleaning, but soon he realized Levi was more obsessive than a clean-freak. And he was always doing something, be it training, cooking, or just organizing, and he would unexpectedly get frustrated and venture somewhere no one could find him. He was never extremely hurtful, but if you caught him in one of his frustrations he would rudely lash out. Eren wanted to laugh the first time Levi called him a “fucking brat” just because he happened to walk into the kitchen after Levi dropped a cup. It was such a juxtaposition to the collected Levi who was usually so careful around him. Later that evening Levi gave Eren part of his dinner portion, and it was odd, but surprisingly tender. So Eren forgave him. And for the first time Levi felt human to Eren. 

Eren wasn’t sure what to think when he asked Petra for Levi’s background. She told Eren how Levi worked in the underground (doing who-knows-what) until he was recruited to the Corps by their commander. Levi along with two others were coerced (somehow) to join the Corps when they were in their late teens, surpassing the trainee period. Eren asked what happened to the other two. Petra said they died, in the classic Survey Corps fashion. Eren hoped they weren’t Levi’s friends. Petra ended their conversation by saying how Levi was a strange man (in the most affectionate way possible). 

By the time Levi protected Titan Eren from the rest of the shocked squad, Eren had accepted that this odd man did not dislike him. Eren felt their relationship as captain and subordinate was solid. 

But things changed again when they became the only two members of their division. Eren saw Levi in ruins for the first time, and he didn’t want too. For all his hot-headedness, Eren was a empathetic boy, and he did not want to see someone he respected (Eren decided he respected Levi) in pain. Eren saw Levi drink for the first time, and it was pathetic, but Eren did not blame his Captain. Levi didn’t cry, but god did he talk while intoxicated. Eren didn’t mean to pry, but he did, and he found out those two fellow recruits where Levi’s friends. Levi said “friends” like it left a bad taste in mouth, and Eren did not blame him. Eren had already seen what happened to friends in the Survey Corps. Levi allowed Eren to drink too, and Eren did. He knew he would feel like shit in the morning, but the few hours of warm, nauseating comfort were worth it. Eren remembers himself telling Levi how he met Mikasa, and he couldn’t decipher Levi’s expression. 

He said, “I thought you were a better version of me”, and Eren couldn’t understand that either. But Eren didn’t care what Levi said. Eren was content analyzing Levi’s face, his body. The way he pouts his lip like a child, how his forehead crinkles, the bags under his eyes, the way his collar bone dips and how he rotates his left shoulder every so often. Eren isn’t sure what to think of Levi anymore, and all he can feel is a slight drunken anger at the older man. But Eren is still disappointed when Levi gets up for the night, even if he departs saying “see you in the morning”. 

Eren thinks of Levi when he doesn’t want to. When Eren is alone at night, he curls under the blanket and tries to touch himself. “Tries” is the key word. It’s always too cold, or Eren is too scared, or too angry, or just too sad. But sometimes Eren thinks of Levi. Of the curve of his back, the way his maneuver gear digs into his skin, his jawline and his lips. This gets Eren frustrated, but he’s able to touch himself and feel the sweet release, so he continues to think of Levi in ways he wished he didn’t. The next day Eren avoids Levi, and exerts himself a little more than he needs too in training. Of course Levi doesn’t notice Eren ignoring him, so that gets Eren even more upset. He isn’t sure why. 

\---

Annie is defeated, blurring the line between friend and foe. And Eren has some more downtime. Downtime as in, he’s relatively sure he won’t die the next few hours. But Erwin is busy, so Levi is busy. Eren soaks up being with Mikasa and Armin, and even the rest of the 104th. But a part of Eren is so relieved when he gets assigned to Levi’s squad again, this time with his friends. But that’s a blessing and a curse. Levi smiles when he sees Eren again, and that doesn’t make Eren angry. 

Levi doesn’t try to get close to any of the cadets. But Eren is good at nudging, even if he doesn’t mean too. Even if it’s just for his own vague desires. At this point Eren knows that Levi is just a person, maybe not even a good person. And Eren thinks maybe he is just a person too. 

Jean complains about Levi giving Eren special treatment. Mikasa says it’s because Eren is important, he’s a Titan. Eren doesn’t see it. 

Eren knew he liked guys for a while, but he expected to be killed before it mattered, however when Levi touched him for the first time the butterflies in Eren's stomach made him take a double take. He doesn’t think Levi meant to touch him, he was trying to get his attention and Eren was too distracted to hear him, but Levi did. Both of them stepped back. Eren didn’t realize Levi had never touched him before. Eren was a touchy boy, but he would never overstep boundaries. And it seemed Levi set a no-touching boundary Eren didn’t realize existed. Eren thought Levi was about to get angry, but he didn’t, he sighed and they went back to whatever they were doing. 

A few days later at a meeting about their next mission, Eren caught Levi staring. Eren thought he was just being paranoid, but when he turned he made a glance of eye contact with his captain. Eren smiled at Levi, and Levi looked away, but he didn’t look unhappy. 

After dinner one night, Eren found Levi alone. He wasn’t sure what he was planning to do. Slightly intoxicated, partly just restless, Eren began to talk to his commanding officer. Levi wasn’t a concept anymore. He was a solid human with problems and flaws but, god, was Eren drawn to him. Dizzy and a little too happy, Eren sat beside Levi. They touched shoulders, and Levi only flinched a little. 

“You’re a really good person”, Levi said. 

Eren laughed at this, saying, “Then you are too”. 

Levi chuckled. Levi asked if Eren had ever dated. Eren said no.

Levi flinched at this, and then stood up, startling the younger boy. “Then please don’t get close to me. Get experience elsewhere.” 

Eren was left practically snarling, “I’m not close to you, pervert.” As one does, Eren went outside and punched a tree. He stopped only from fear of shifting. 

In the morning Levi saw Eren’s fists. He asked what happened and Eren asked why he cared. Levi told Eren he cared about him, including his hands. Sleep deprived and hungover, Eren began to cry. He was angry at himself, and angry that he wasn’t upset with Levi, and angry that his life was disposable, and angry that even Levi was disposable. Eren bit his lip and hunched over into his hands. Levi stepped forward and hugged the slimmer boy, pulling him into his chest. Levi’s shirt muffled Eren’s sobs, which began to slow down. Eren felt pathetic, he felt weak and small but he didn’t want Levi to let go. 

Eren laughed, “Wouldn’t think you’d be a good hugger”. 

Levi didn’t reply, he just shook his head and smiled, and then stepped back. Levi asked Eren if slept last night, Eren told him he hadn’t. Levi said Eren could stay in his room and sleep, and that he was excused from training. Eren didn’t complain. 

\---

Levi gave Eren the key to lock the door and left. Eren realized he’d never seen Levi’s room before. It was a simple, small room. The floorboards had mold in the corner like the rest of the building, and one of the rafters was broken, but it was a clean room. Eren saw there was a connecting bathroom, it had it’s own bathtub with a water faucet for the sink and the tub. There was a stool with towels and a cabinet near the sink. Eren laughed. He could imagine Levi’s only request being a room with his own bath. Eren went back to the bed and sat down. He was tired, but wanted to take advantage of the only time he’d be in Levi’s room. There was only one dresser in the room, and Eren was tentative about looking through it. But at the end of the day Eren was nosy, so he opened it up. 

There wasn’t anything shocking, which disappointed a part of him. Levi had a few clean uniforms hanging up, a box of tea, extra soap, and some knives and guns. Eren came to a small door at the bottom of the dresser, and there was the only personal belonging of Levi’s. It was the badges and patches of Survey Corps members, including Levi’s last squad. Eren could only assume all these people were dead. Eren didn’t feel like crying, but he was scared to even close the door. He was able to muster up the courage and put the badges away. 

Eren felt dirty after looking through Levi’s belongings, and he supposed he should use the bath. He couldn’t remember the last time he bathed in private. Eren turned on the bath faucet and started the fire underneath the tub to warm the water. Eren felt his hands shaking as he stripped. Levi trusted him to be here alone. Eren was strangely irked by the silence. He was used to the common showers: where Jean would yell at him for taking too long, and Connie would comment on everyone’s junk, and how Armin would talk to him the whole time. The silence made Eren sad, but he tried to appreciate it as he sank into the tub. Levi’s soap was higher quality than what the cadets got, so Eren used a little more than necessary. As Eren got out, he noticed Levi’s towels were of higher quality too. Eren felt mildly jealous, but he knew it was realistically only fair. If you’ve survived as long as Levi has in the Corps, the least you deserve is fancier towels and soaps. They’re not even fancy, Eren laughs to himself, just not dirt cheap. Eren doesn’t even fully dry himself off before changing back into his uniform and falling into bed. He thinks about putting on his maneuver gear, as paranoid soldiers usually do, but deicides against it. He wants to feel safe in Levi’s room. Or maybe just the illusion of safety. 

Laying in bed, Eren pulls the sheets over his head. He can’t help but think of Levi sleeping on the same surface. But Eren smiles, he knows Levi, Levi would more likely be sleeping on the floor than on a mattress without even wearing maneuver gear. But Eren lets himself imagine Levi without a shirt on, chest bare underneath blankets, hair dampened from a bath. He lets himself smell the room, soap mixed with the scent of tea, old parchment, leather jackets, wood floors, and something intrinsically Levi. Eren thinks how easy it would be to touch himself, but he decides against it. 

Eren wakes hours later to the sun setting. He swears to himself as he stretches. Eren doesn’t want to leave the bed. He feels comfortable and safe and he curses letting himself relax. Eren spends a few minutes putting on his gear before making the bed, washing his face, grabbing Levi’s keys and heading downstairs. 

He walks into the kitchen to find Levi sleeping at the table. Levi jerks awake almost as soon as Eren enters. 

“God, Eren, you fucking surprised me.” Levi said, at first slightly shaken before taking on his usual tone, “Everyone else is out, I forgot you were still here.” 

Eren nods and apologizes. Levi tells him not to be sorry. Eren asks if there is anything he can do, if the stables need to be cleaned or if Hanji wants to work with him tonight, but Levi shakes his head. They sit in a silence for a few moments.

“Thank you, captain.” Eren says.

Levi nods, sighing, “Can I ask why you got upset last night?” They don’t make eye contact.

“I’m not sure, sir -"

“Don’t call me ‘sir’”

“I’m not sure.” Eren says, “You offended me, I guess… You hit too close to home.” He pauses, “I’d like to get close to you.”

Levi groans, he leans back and looks at Eren. “You’re a lot younger than me.”

“I don’t even know how old you are.”

“26" 

“Ten years. Not like you could be my father. You know what this is about."

Levi laughs at that, saying, “People die in the Corps, Eren.” 

“I’m not a person." 

“Okay, well, we kill Titans in the Corps too if you hadn’t figured that out." Eren flinches at this. There is another moment of silence. Levi decides to add, “I care about you. Too fucking much.”

Eren smiles, “Does that mean I can use your bath again?”

Levi kicks him in the shin and they both laugh with nerves in their throat. 

\---

The next week goes by normally. They train for the majority of the day, and they attend a few strategy meetings and exposition plans. They’re busy and Eren tries not to overthink his conversation with Levi. Maybe he unconsciously avoids the older man, because Levi confronts Eren a week later, “If you regret anything you said just tell me.” Eren is taken back, he wasn’t talking to Levi but he didn’t expect this Captain to confront him over it.

“I didn’t mean to.” Eren thinks of placing a hand on Levi's shoulder, but he pulls back and says, “I thought you cared too much about all your cadets.” He grins.

“Don’t joke.” Levi smiles. He pauses before continuing, “You can stay in my room tonight if you want, I think I’m going to be busy.”

“Oh.” Eren’s taken off guard. “What time?”

“We’re not gonna fuck.” Levi frowns.

“No. No! I didn’t mean -" 

“I’m sorry, I’m just… clarifying.” Eren swears he can see Levi turn red. “Come around after dinner, I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

Eren is disappointed when Levi isn’t in his room. He wasn’t expecting Levi butt naked surrounded by candles and roses, but he just wanted the man to be there. Eren takes a bath, and this time he decides the silence isn’t so bad. Eren isn’t expecting Levi to be there when he leaves the bathroom, but he is. It’s not a bad surprise.

“Hey.” Levi says, looking up from his desk.

“You surprised me.”

“I’m going to be using my desk for a while, is that okay?” Levi asked.

“It’s your desk.”

Eren lays at the end of the bed on his back. He stares at the ceiling.

“You can go to sleep if you want.” Levi says.

“I want to be awake with you.”

Eren hears Levi put down his pen. He hears the man push out his chair and stand up, and soon Levi is laying down besides him. They are not touching. Eren turns his head over to the left to look at Levi. Levi closes his eyes and sighs. Eren sits up and leans ever so slightly towards his officer. Eren makes a mental map of Levi’s face, and he feels Levi is watching him even through closed eyes.

Eren whispers, “Can I kiss you?”

Levi pushes himself up and opens his eyes, “Yeah.”

Eren pauses for a moment, but when Levi touches his leg he leans in. Eren meets Levi’s lips and his stomach turns to fire. He feels his chest dip closer to the other man, he feels his teeth touch Levi’s smooth lips, he feels a strong hand cradle his cheek, he feels himself break away and smile looking into Levi’s eyes. Levi is breathing a little harder than usual, and their foreheads are almost touching. Levi kisses Eren again, a little slower, with a little more pressure. Eren feels his tongue taste Levi for a moment and he laughs. One of Eren’s hands is against Levi’s hip, and feels the harsh lines of bone and muscle. His other hand is unconsciously on Levi’s neck, as if Eren is afraid the man will leave at any moment. 

They both part, and Eren realizes Levi’s smile is a delicious thing. Levi drops his hand from Eren’s cheek and trails it down the boys chest before fully pulling it away. Eren’s abdomen is still in flames, and he’s afraid to look down and see a bulge. But Levi’s crotch is a little tighter than usual too; the the thought of it drives Eren nuts.

“I’m going to bathe now.” Levi says, and his voice is low and rough. “Please stay.”

“Of course.” Eren whispers, feeling slightly disappointed when Levi shuts the door of his bathroom. Eren rolls over onto this stomach, smiling like a child into the bed’s blankets. 

\---

Eren dozes between sleep until Levi reopens the door, coming back into the bedroom. Eren is flustered by the sight before him, nothing close to a naked Levi, but Eren realizes he had never seen the shorter man without his maneuver gear before. Levi is dressed in a gray shirt that is a little too big for him and a fresh pair of the usual white military pants. His hair is still damp. He looks lighter than usual, more approachable, younger. No wonder he is always dressed up. Eren feels himself stuck for words.

Levi sits down at his desk and laughs, “You are inexperienced.”

Eren perks up and grumbles, “I’ve kissed girls before, asshole.”

“I’m not Mikasa.”

Eren begins say something defensive, but then stops and smiles. “You’re not.” He shakes his head and leans back, a mixture of nerves and arousal and comfort wrapped around the boy. 

Levi begins doing some kind of paperwork. Eren feels like asking what it is, but he honestly doesn't care enough. He lays on his side, letting himself fall in and out of sleep for a while. He opens his eyes and watches Levi every few minutes, sometimes they make eye contact. 

After a while Levi puts the papers away and leans forward. “I didn’t think you’d initiate.”

Eren sits up and moves himself in Levi’s direction, “I’m told I’m impulsive.”

Levi raises his eyebrows, “Would’ve never guessed.”

Eren just grins, “Well I had to assume you liked guys, or else you would of gone after Petra.”

Levi says, “If you assume, you’re an ass.”

Eren laughs, “So you don’t like guys?”

Levi just shrugs. “You should get to sleep. We have a few hours before we have to be up.”

“Yeah…” Eren replies. He kicks off his shoes and lays on top of the blankets.

“You can get under the sheets, Eren.”

“I’m afraid of getting you upset.”

“Don’t be.” Levi frowns, “Please.”

Eren says, “I know you don’t sleep too much, but…. I’d feel less awkward if you were next to me. I don’t want to sleep with you staring at me, ya know?”

“Fair enough.” Levi gets up and snuffs the candles in the room.

Eren pulls himself under the bed covers, he turns towards Levi as the older man gets into bed. Eren studies Levi’s shoulders in the moonlight: the scar that dips under his collar bone, how the oversized shirt falls against his arms. Levi is looking at him too, a strangely vulnerable Levi looking at a strangely curious Eren.

“You don’t have any scars.” Levi comments, “I knew you could heal but… I never noticed it before.”

Eren thinks about mentioning how Levi has many scars, but that didn’t seem too polite. “I know.”

Levi sinks a little deeper into the bed. Eren reaches and grabs Levi’s hand. The man flinches at first, but he doesn’t pull away. Eren yawns. Levi chews on his lip. Eren hopes Levi feels as safe as he does. 

\---

Eren is awaken by Levi’s hand on his shoulder. “Time to get up.”

Eren is disoriented at first, but he’s mostly just angry at being waken. It isn’t Levi’s fault, Eren is used to the daily fury he feels whenever someone nudges him awake. But the anger subsides surprisingly quick, Eren is just happy to see Levi, still not clade in uniform.

“Your clothes are in the bathroom.” Levi says, “Take your time. You have about 30 minutes until drills, I’ll be going down in 10.”

“Oh come on, you can’t let me miss drills?” Eren smiles.

“Get your ass up, Jaeger.”

Eren groans. 

\---

Eren goes to Levi’s room every night. Eren has gotten comfortable with Levi not sleeping, but he savors the nights Levi lays next to him, or slips under the blankets in the wee hours of morning. They kiss, and Eren is never satisfied. Levi lets them kiss longer every night, but he never lets it get farther than that. Eren complains, and he begins whispering sweet vulgar words in Levi’s ear when they are both still half asleep. Eren counts the seconds until Levi comes to his sense and hits him with a pillow. It reminds him of calculating how far away lightning is. 

Mikasa confronts Eren, “What has Hanji been doing to do you at night?”

Eren is taken back. He has expected someone to mention why he hasn’t been in the bunks, but he didn’t think Mikasa would jump to the conclusion of Hanji. Hanji was weird, sure, and a little invasive with figuring out Eren’s ability, but she was a well-meaning person.

“Hanji - What? We don’t do experiments at night.”

“Then where have you been? Armin says you shower with everyone, but then you disappear. What are you doing for them?” Mikasa doesn’t sound angry, just worried.

“Them?” Eren starts, “You mean -“

“Smith, Levi, them. The veterans, the higher-rankings. I trust them as soldiers, but... They don’t think of your well-being. They’re probably using your powers at night, I’m right aren’t I?”

“No.” Eren snaps, “No, Mikasa, what the fuck. Hanji is nice, Smith is busy, Levi… is busy.” He dwells on the word "Levi" for too long.

“Okay, fine… But, then where have you been.” Mikasa grabs her brother’s hand. “I just want you to be safe. And Armin misses talking to you at night, but you have to talk to him about that personally.”

Eren sighs and plays with the strings of Mikasa’s scarf, “I’ve been with Levi.”

Mikasa perks up, “I knew it! What has he been doing with you?”

“No, Mikasa. It’s not what you think. He’s been doing nothing… Nothing.” Eren tries not to blush. “He let’s me sleep in his room, he doesn’t use it often. He’s worried about my safety… After his last squad almost killed me.” Eren says.

“They weren’t your own division. We know you, Eren.” Mikasa lowers her voice, “I don’t trust that man.”

Eren lets go of his sisters hand, “Well I do.”

“Well your emotions disguise logic sometimes, Eren.” She crosses her arms, “If you haven’t noticed.”

“I appreciate you trying to protect me, but…” Eren says, “I can protect myself. Levi is a good man, I know more of him than you do. And god, I like him. And he makes me feel safe.”

“I can make you feel safe…” Mikasa looks away. Eren steps forward and hugs her.

“You do.” Eren says, “I love you, okay?”

Mikasa smiles and lets go of her brother. “Just take care of yourself. And talk to Armin for godsake, he feels left out.”

Eren smiles at this, feeling a little guilty of neglecting his friend. “I’ll stay in the bunks tonight.”

\---

A few nights later, Eren is laying next to Levi again. The window is open and the blankets are stripped from the bed. Sweltering summer heat fills the room. Eren took off his shirt, a little let down when Levi didn’t follow suit. With boredom, Eren rolls over and bites Levi’s ear.

“Fuck, Eren, you filthy virgin.” Levi swats him away, but he’s smiling. “Don’t even start…”

“I’m just bored.” Eren pouts, “But fine, what do you want me to say?”

“Nothing.” Levi pushes himself up and kisses the smaller soldier beneath him.

Eren drapes his arms around Levi’s neck. He pulls the man closer to him. Eren unconsciously bites down on Levi’s lip when the man moves his hand to Eren’s hip. Levi complains at Eren drawing blood, but they continue to kiss. Eren feels compelled and grabs at Levi’s shirt. Levi chuckles, but he is blushing and slowly losing his composure. Eren moves his hands to Levi’s waist as he takes off his shirt.

The cadet stares at his captain, his pale skin littered with scars, some lighter and darker in color, some raised and some flat. His well defined muscles, his waist thicker than Eren’s own, the dark hairs on his chest, his nipples bare and hard… Eren groans into his own shoulder, Levi tilts Eren’s head back forward, and they kiss again.

Eren wants to say something, maybe something hot or playful, but he feels mute. He doesn’t want Levi to stop kissing him, he doesn’t want to feel the absence of Levi’s tongue in his mouth. Eren feels Levi deepen the kiss, and he feels their hips touch. Eren’s attention is obnoxiously brought to his groin when Levi’s thigh presses against it. Eren pushes the man back.

“Stop…” He whispers, almost gasping at his own arousal.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Levi sits back. “Did I-“

Eren pushes himself up slightly, “I’m fine… I… I’m really hard.”

“Eren, don’t worry.” Levi laughs, “It’s okay… That’s the point.”

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable -“ Eren starts, but Levi breaks off his words by leaning back forward and kissing the younger man. Eren sits up into the kiss.  
Levi leads Eren’s hand against his own pants. Eren feels Levi’s own erection, and he smiles into the crook of the man’s neck. 

“See?” Levi whispers, “I’m not uncomfortable.” Levi kisses Eren’s neck and the boy shudders, mindlessly grinding against the man holding him.

“You like that?” Levi asks as he runs a few fingers against Eren’s nape.

Eren just gasps and nods in reply. “Yeah…”

Levi brings his tongue against Eren’s neck, sucking and letting his teeth graze the boy.

Eren moans, “God… Fuck… My neck… It almost hurts.”

Levi frowns, staring at the boys neck. “You really trust me? I could -“ Levi skims his nail across the younger man’s nape.

Eren shudders, but he regains his breath and pulls himself fully onto Levi’s lap. He kisses his captain, “Yeah, I trust you.”

Levi sighs and lets the boy kiss him. He moves his hands from the boys neck, to his small waist, to his pants. Levi loops his finger through one of the pant loops and tugs. Eren breathlessly grinds as he holds himself straight against his lover.

Levi tugs again, and asks, “Can I?” He pushes lightly against Eren’s groin, causing the boy to groan.

“Really?” Eren’s bright eyes widen, full of lust and excitement. “You can -“

Levi smiles, “Yeah. I can touch you, I can jack you off, I can give you a blowjob… Whatever you want.” Eren cries out as Levi presses down again, he bites into the man’s shoulder, but Levi doesn’t flinch this time. “I know you could cum just by thinking of me, but I’d like to do this for you.” Levi chuckles, and Eren bites down again on purpose.

“Fucking… Shut up…” Eren smiles, “But be my guest.” Eren works with Levi to unzip his pants, pulling the white material down, and being left with the thin material of his underwear. Levi slips his hand under the waist band, wrapping it around Eren’s length. Eren thrusts into it.

“Slow down…” Levi whispers, holding Eren’s hips still with his other hand. Levi rubs the tip with his thumb, causing Eren to squirm and grab at the mattress. Eren swears, and thrusts, and swears again. Levi gently pushes Eren back, and lowers himself down towards the boy. “Can I?”

“Yeah… Yes. God, Levi…” Eren moans. Levi pushes Eren’s underwear down, revealing the younger’s full shaft. Pre cum is beginning to bead, and Levi massages the tip one more time to watch Eren’s reaction. The cadet groans and throws his head back, exposing his full neck. Levi licks his lips and finally goes down on Eren. He takes the man’s dick into his throat, moving with Eren as he thrusts. Eren is overcome with the fire in his stomach, and the sight below him. He grabs Levi’s hair, mesmerized at how Levi’s mouth looks wrapped around his dick. And mesmerized at how good it feels.

Levi pulls back and unzips his pants, pulling out his own cock. Eren’s dick throbs for touch again, and he makes a pathetic noise of want. Eren doesn’t realize he began touching himself in Levi’s absence. Levi pushes Eren’s hand away and licks Eren’s length, they keep eye contact as Eren shudders.

“Hurry the fuck up… I’m gonna…” Eren digs his nails into Levi’s shoulder.

Levi holds onto his own cock, pumping it and moaning into Eren’s stomach a few times before he wraps his lips around Eren’s dick again. Levi deep throats him and Eren thrusts.

Eren only lasts a few moments before he climaxes, cumming inside Levi’s mouth. Eren cries out, feeling the wave euphoria slide over him. He thinks how much better this feels than jacking off alone in the bunks. When Eren regains focus, he expects Levi to spit, but instead the man swallows and Eren feels that act is enough to make him cum again. 

Levi pumps himself once more and cums. He tries to move away from Eren at the last minute, but some of his substance still gets on Eren’s thigh. Eren doesn’t mind, but Levi still pants a quick, “Sorry…”

Levi falls next to Eren and laughs, he covers his face with his arm. Eren kisses his lover’s cheek and gets up, sayings, “Hold on.” He slips back on his underwear and pushes his pants off the bed.

Eren grabs and dampens a cloth, bringing it back to the bed and cleaning the mattress off.

“Thanks” A flushed Levi watches Eren clean, he smiles, “This is why you’re my favorite...” He suddenly shifts and frowns. He corrects himself, "The cleaning." 

“Shut up.” Eren grins. He throws the cloth to the ground once he thinks Levi would be satisfied. Eren climbs back onto the bed. He curls himself against Levi, who in turn wraps his arm around the smaller man.

“You okay?” Levi asks.

“You surprise me.” Eren says, which isn’t really a reply.

“Hm?”

“You’re much kinder than you make yourself out to be.”

“Only for you.”

Eren doesn’t feel like deciphering Levi, and Levi doesn’t seem to want to talk. But Eren is satisfied, and happy, and the room is too hot to be cuddled up against someone but Eren doesn’t care. Eren sleeps soundly that night, fully content with who Levi was. Sometimes expectations are wrong for the better.


	2. Incoherency & Love

Eren wakes, the room has cooled off through the night and he shivers. He looks for Levi, but the older man is not in his room. Eren tries to listen for someone in the bath, but all he finds is the static of silence. Eren would assume Levi had left early for his daily duties, but the sun seemed hours from rising. Eren slid off the mattress and got dressed. He went to the bathroom and stuck his head under the faucet to wake up. He brushed his teeth and checked the window for the sun, it was still dark. Eren sat down at Levi’s desk and tried to think of things to pass the time. Of course, his mind went to the night prior. He sighed and held his face in his hands, a mixture of stress and confusion invading his consciousness. 

Eren thought the closest he would ever get to sex was handjobs from cadet girls aided by the mutual pressure to not die before they see the opposite sex naked. But it wasn’t the idea of getting a blowjob that scared Eren, it was the tangible memory of Levi underneath him, of Levi touching him, that caused Eren to not know how to think. He knew he wanted to relive the memory, the touch, the safety, but he felt guilty, guilty for keeping something from his friends, his family. He tried to remind himself he wasn’t hiding anything, he could tell Mikasa and Armin right now, but deep down Eren knew this had been building for weeks. Their first kiss was far from platonic, and Eren knew he began hiding things there. But Eren wasn’t regretful, far from it. He felt a wave of puppy love warm his chest, and he kindled it and smiled. 

The sun had begun to rise, and that was all Eren needed to leave the room. He took a candle with him to light the windowless castle hallways. He was headed towards the bunkers, but he hoped to see Levi along the way. Of course, he didn’t. 

Connie was still sleeping, and Jean was no where to be seen, but Armin was awake reading in his bed. Eren wordlessly sat down besides his friend, who finished skimming whatever page he was on before looking up and saying, “Morning.” Eren tried playfully grabbing the book from his friends hands, but Armin stood up and held it away from the darker haired boy, “Don’t make me lose my page!”

Eren smiled and settled back down, “What’s it about?”

“The Commander gave it to me, it’s about the mapping of the canal systems.”

“Sounds…” Eren pretended to think before saying, “Not interesting.” Armin hit him with the book, and Eren pouted. 

Armin bent the book’s page before shoving it back under his bunk, “How’s Levi?”

Eren paused, tried not to stutter, and said, “Why? How would I know?”

“Defensive much?” Armin laughed, “You stay in his room, you’re closer to him than the rest of us, I’m just asking.” Eren frowned. “No need to reply then.” 

“I’m sorry,” Eren shook his head, “Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah of course,” Armin said, “Me and Connie.” He beckoned towards the snoring soldier, and Eren smiled. 

“Well, Levi is fine…” Eren rubbed his neck, and Armin raised an eyebrow, “God, don’t look at me like that, Ar!” 

“Could this conversation be any slower?” 

“I think I’m gay.” 

Armin laughs, and he grabs his friend’s shoulder to catch his breath. Eren scowls and pushes his friends hand away, but Armin just smiles, “It’s okay, Eren. But oh my god, is that your big reveal? You’re a Titan… That was your big reveal.” Armin wipes away tears from laughing, “And we’ve assumed. If I can have sex before you - “ 

Eren grumbles, “Don’t mention Annie.” 

“I didn’t say her name.”

“And I like Levi.”

Armin pauses, he leans back and frowns. After a few moments of staring at his nervous friend, Armin smiles, “You’ve got bad taste.” He jokes. 

Eren huffs and begins to stand up, Armin grabs his arm and pulls his friend back down.

Eren begins, “Just be serious and - “

“That’s why you’ve been in Levi’s room.” Armin thinks for a moment, “Levi likes you too. God, I’m blind.” He smacks his own forehead. “And let me guess, you kissed him or something last night and now you’re running to me because Eren doesn’t know how to handle his own emotions.” 

“Don’t analyze me…” Eren grumbles, but his posture is relaxed.

“Be careful, Eren.” Armin takes on a serious tone, “Levi is your superior officer, check his motives. I don’t know Levi well, hopefully you do. And also, I’m not sure how far you want to take this… It’s a dangerous job we’ve got ourselves into.” 

Eren rubs his temples, “I know… I fucking know! But I trust him…” Eren rambles, “And… I fucking hate this world.” 

Armin picks back up his book, “You hate parts of it. But let yourself love, even if it turns on you in the end.”

Eren doesn’t see Levi the rest of the day. Hanji leads drills, and then they scout the route they will take to enter their next exhibition. Eren wonders where Levi is, but he assumes the man is with Erwin, their next mission is only two weeks away, they must have much planning to do. After Eren showers, he walks to Levi’s room. The door is locked, so he knocks. At first he thinks Levi must not be inside, but he listens and the floorboards are creaking. Quiet honestly, the boy is peeved, “Levi?” He asks. 

A disheveled Levi opens the door, maneuver gear still on and knees skimmed with dirt, “Can you leave?” Eren can tell he’s holding back some kind of temper, but Eren is selfish and he doesn’t want to. 

“No.” Eren pushes past Levi into the man’s room, shutting the door behind him. Levi steps back, furious, but he doesn’t say anything. “You can’t just suck my dick then disappear.”

Levi says quietly, “Watch me.”

Eren stands, staring at the shorter man, trying desperately to read him, “What?”

“You’re 16. You are under my protection.” He raises his voice, “My protection! I’ve done something I shouldn’t of. Eren, your friends are going to die, I am going to die, you are going to die -“ Levi stops. His breathing is uneven and he’s a meter away from Eren. 

Eren feels tears well in eyes, but it only fuels his anger, “Exactly. We’re all going to fucking die, so don’t act like a pussy and run away when your emotions scare you.” Eren tries to ignore his tears, “You’re hiding behind ‘protecting’ me because you’re scared of yourself, and that’s bullshit. I’m a fucking monster, I’m terrified of myself every second of the fucking day, but you were never scared of me… I don’t know why you’re afraid of yourself… But I’m not afraid of you.” Levi stands with his mouth agape, shoulders hunched, but his hands unclench. 

Levi sits down on his bed, head in his hands, eyes tilted towards Eren’s, “Nice speech.” He says, forcing so much sarcasm into his words that they become legitimate. 

Eren tentatively sits beside him, copying his captain’s slouched posture, “Don’t be angry at me…”

“I’m not.” Levi says, “Let me bathe.” 

“Can I -“

“Stay here.” Levi finishes the younger soldier’s sentence, “Yes. Please.” 

Eren wipes away a few tears as he watches his captain begin to unbuckle the belts of his gear. He notices Levi’s hands are shaking, and he places his own on top of them, “Let me.” 

Levi flinches as Eren starts, but he doesn’t complain. Eren smoothly undoes the belts, almost as well as the veterans, he slides them over Levi’s head and down his legs. 

Levi rubs his forehead, “Thank you.” He says, as he unsteadily gets up. 

“It’s alright to not be okay.” 

Levi cringes at this, but he nods and makes eye contact Eren before disappearing into the bathroom. 

Levi takes a while in the bathroom, but when he is finishes he reenters his sleeping quarters a little brighter. Eren hasn’t left the edge of Levi’s bed. He feels his heart beating faster than it should, and his eyes feel heavier than they usually do at this time of night. He realizes he is worried about Levi, so he looks up and says, “Feeling better?” 

Levi closes his eyes. He dejectedly sits down and leans against the leg of his desk. His movements are slow as if his body hurts. He says, “I’m fine.” 

Eren moves onto the floor and Levi looks up. Eren notices how tense Levi is, how his skin looks drained and how his breath hitches. “You look sick.” Eren states, lacking most normal courtesy. Eren had been around sickness his whole childhood, so when he mentions it he means it out of kindness, “Do you need anything?”

“I feel like shit,” Levi rolls his head back and stares blankly at the ceiling, “But I’m not sick. This always happens.” 

“What always happens?” Eren perks up. He tries to make mental notes to be polite but they don’t seem to stick. 

“After I do anything gay.” Levi pauses. “Well, not just gay. After I do anything sexual. It just tends to be gay.” 

“I don’t -“ Eren rubs his hands against his pants. 

“Yeah, of course you don’t understand.” Levi stuffs his hands in his pockets, he frowns before letting his voice become tender, “I’m glad you don’t understand.” 

For all of Eren’s social flaws, he realizes the subject needs to be changed. “You need to sleep. I’ll leave but…” Eren stands up and pulls back a bed sheet, “First you need to go bed.”

Levi looks down from the ceiling and he meets Eren’s eyes. The older man radiates vulnerability and confusion. It angers Eren while making the boy even fonder of his superior. That’s usually how Eren’s emotions towards Levi work. 

Levi gets up, and Eren reaches a hand out to help him get into bed. Levi’s eyes narrow and he looks away, “Please don’t touch me.” He shakes his head. 

Eren frowns but he backs up. He sits down in Levi’s chair. Levi lays down. He rolls onto his side and looks at Eren. Eren says, “I’ll be leaving…” 

But Levi props himself up and says, “Stay. I can’t…” Levi stops and swears to himself. “You can leave, but get Hanji.” 

Eren decides he’ll be the adult tonight. “No, it’s fine. I’ll sleep here.” He takes off his jacket and gets comfortable in the wooden chair. “You need rest.” 

Levi grunts and lets his head lay back down on the pillow. They sit in silence for a few minutes. Eren is dozing off as Levi says, “I never had any parents.” Eren sits back up. 

“Never?” The boy says. 

“I had a mother. She died when I was…” Levi takes a moment to think, or compose himself, or both. “Really little.”

Levi waits for Eren to say something, but Eren feels his words stuck in the back of his throat. It rarely happens. Eren remembers his own mother, the corpse of Mikasa’s mother, of the countless mothers he’s seen killed and mauled and eaten. Levi continue’s when Eren doesn’t speak. “I had an uncle.” 

The way Levi spoke the word “had” and “uncle” sent a shiver through Eren. The cadet wasn’t sure why. He felt like the “had” wasn’t past-tense, and the word “uncle” was bitter. “I’m sorry.” Were the only words Eren felt appropriate. Because whatever those words mean, it broke Eren’s heart that Levi had to say them in such a tone. 

“Every time I touch someone he is in the room.” Levi’s breath hitches unevenly again, and Eren leans forward. “Fuck… That’s creepy.” Levi pulls at his own hair. “I want to trust myself, Eren.”

Eren feels overwhelmed for a moment, then horrified, then in utter love. He’s scared to hear Levi speak again, yet at the same time wants the man to pour his heart out so Eren can know what to do. “I trust you.” 

“Then why are you… why are you with me?” Levi becomes more incoherent, “Why are you with me if you don’t want anything from me?” 

Levi looks in complete pain, and Eren wishes he could hold the man, kiss the man, tell him how much he cares for him. But the younger soldier feels that wouldn’t be inappropriate. He prays that there is another way to show Levi how much he cares for him in that night. “Because I think I can learn to really love you, truly love you.” Eren lowers his voice. “And we can take as long as you want.” 

Levi relaxes. He says, “I never want to hurt you.” Before falling asleep. 

———

Per usual, Levi wakes before Eren. Eren stretches into consciousness while accidentally scattering papers off of his superior’s desk. The younger soldier feels an indent of a pen on his cheek and tries to rub it away. 

Levi is putting his maneuver gear on, and Eren can’t help but notice that he looks like a different person than the night prior. He holds his usual confidence in his movements, with nothing jittery or shaky about them. His skin is flushed from the morning heat, and his face is mostly relaxed aside from furrowed eyebrows. Eren sighs with relief. 

“Good morning.” Levi says as Eren stands up, still weak from sleep. 

“Are you doing okay?” Eren asks. 

“I’m fine.” Levi sits down to put on his boots. “And I need to thank you.”

“You don’t have too.”

“You shouldn’t of seen me like that last night.” Levi sighs. “I tried to stay away from you.”

“You didn’t have too.” Eren stands up. “We don’t need to go fast. You don’t owe me anything. I spend time with you because I want to.”

“Glad we don’t need to go fast,” Levi sighs, “Because the Corps need us right now. Get dressed. Some kind of rebellion. The monarchy hates Mr. Smith.” Levi laughs at this. 

Eren tightens the various buckles of his gear. “What happened?” 

“Some wall-worshipping cult contacting the king, blames us for destroying the walls.” Levi complains, “The king can say he’s secular all he fucking wants, but it doesn’t show when he seems to back everything the cults say.” 

“Hopefully police won’t get involved.” Eren puts on his jacket.

“And we’re getting relocated.” 

Eren groans.


	3. Running

Weeks go by and Eren finds no downtime, let alone with Levi. But even through the chaos of the Corps, the twist and turns and looming entity of injury or death; Eren finds time to restlessly think of his captain. The harder Eren tries to analyze his superior, the further he gets from understanding Levi. 

Levi does not soften up to Eren on the field or in training, but Eren relishes the small moments in quietness when Levi looks his way. 

Armin and Eren are cleaning the stables in comfortable silence when Armin begins to talk, “How’s Levi?” 

Eren frowns for a moment, trying to think of the last time he and Levi had actually talked. It was weeks, right before Krista, Historia, told the Corps of her identity and her past. “I actually don’t know.”

“Life’s been busy.” Armin laughs brightly, but there are bags under his eyes. “Do you still like him?”

Eren stops of cleaning and frowns, “Prying much?”

“It’s a better topic than thinking about the reconnaissance that’s happening in two days.” 

“I guess.” Eren kicks the side of the stall and a horse in the opposite corridor whinnies. 

“I want you to tell Mikasa.” Armin picks up Eren’s broom and pushes the darker boy with it. “It’s only fair to her, ya know, if Levi and you ever become a thing.” Armin raises his eyebrows and smirks. 

“Fat chance.” Eren grumbles and sits down. 

“Of telling Mikasa or being with Levi?” 

“Both.” 

“Tell Mikasa.”

“No.” 

“Please?”

“No!” 

“What happens if she dies tomorrow?”

Eren scowls at his friend, but he decides to tell Mikasa. 

———

Eren follows Mikasa in her daily run around the courtyards, he notices that he is finally taller than his sister and feels strangely proud of himself. 

“You never run with me.” Mikasa comments. 

“I need an outlet I guess.” Eren slows down his sprint and Mikasa follows suit. “I also have something to tell you.” 

“Well then, get on with it.” Mikasa says, and Eren can’t help but notice that it sounds like something Levi would say. 

“I might like Levi.” Eren’s glad his face is already flushed from the run. 

“You’ll get over it.” Mikasa says, bored and a little peeved. “I had a crush on Smith last year, but it fades.” 

“No, I know Levi better than you.” Eren frowns, running a little harder, “I really like him.” He draws out the word “really”. 

“I bet you do.” Mikasa sighs, “But dwelling on a one-sided fascination is just gonna hurt you.” 

“It’s not one-sided.” 

Mikasa scoffs. 

Eren stops running and grabs his sister’s arm, “‘Kasa.” Eren’s frowning, “He’s sucked by dick.” 

Mikasa’s face goes red and her eyes narrow. “He -“ She balls her fist, “That pervert -“

“Mikasa!” Eren raises his voice. “I’m trying to be honest with you! I’m fine, so don’t you fucking involve yourself.” 

“You can’t have affairs in the Corps.” 

“So we can’t ever have sex?” Eren sighs. “You know we’re going to die here.”

Mikasa looks away. 

———

Levi pulls Eren aside in the dining hall. 

“What did you tell your sister?” Eren can tell he trying to sound bored, but his tone hints amusement.

“First tell me what she said to you.” Eren feels slightly nervous, but he’s also relaxed. He’s glad Levi is not acting tense with him even after they haven’t talked in weeks. 

“Only that I better respect you,” He shrugs, “Or my head is in the gutter.” 

Eren laughs and bites his thumb and gets what he would call a good idea. “Follow me.” 

Levi complies and Eren turns a corner into an almost nonexistent wing of the building. The younger soldier thinks of grabbing Levi by his jacket’s collar and kissing him, but he decides better. “Do you still like me?” Eren says, and Levi chuckles. 

“I’m trying not too.” Levi doesn’t lie, and it honestly arouses Eren. 

“Well I don’t have enough willpower to try.” Eren bites his lip. “Can I kiss you?”

Levi just raises his eyebrows, but it isn’t a no, so Eren places a hand on the wall behind his captain and kisses the shorter man. 

“Do you know how fucked up I am?” Levi lowers his voice, and Eren wants to tell the man that every piece of humility Levi shows makes Eren fall harder. 

Eren hums, and Levi strokes the soldier’s cheek. Levi’s hand cups Eren’s neck, and Eren lets himself groan ever so slightly. “Continue to touch me.” 

“Don’t let me hurt you -“ Levi begins, but Eren grabs the stronger man’s shoulders. 

“You are not your uncle.” Eren says. 

Levi’s lips part slightly, and he scowls, but relaxes. 

———

The same night, the two of them are laying in bed. It’s less of a bed than Levi’s old room in the castle, but it’s a wider cot than the lower ranking soldier’s, and at least Levi’s room has a single trunk. They talk about how the original utility of the room was most likely an office. 

“Tell me about yourself.” Levi says, “And maybe explain why I like you so much.” 

“Well -“ Eren thinks about starting to blabber on about his life history and woes, but decides he won’t let any of this be a one-sided ordeal, “Only if you tell me about yourself. Back and forth, give and take.” 

Initially, Levi doesn’t answer, but he also doesn’t shake Eren’s request off. “I asked first.” 

“Fair enough.” Eren thinks about telling Levi something mundane, like that he plays the ukulele or that he used to think that the local brothel was a spy agency, but Eren remembers what he said. If he wants to know something personal about Levi, he has to give something personal in return. It has to be mutual. “I believe I deserve to die in the least suicidal way possible.” 

Levi’s face tenses, and he turns to look Eren in the eyes. Eren doesn’t budge. He laughs because it’s the wholehearted truth and he wishes Levi didn’t look so serious. 

“Levi, I’m not an asshole, I would never kill myself,” Eren sighs, “I’m a monster. And I think I’ve accepted it, but, I’m a titan regardless. A titan can never be a true asset to humanity.” Eren wants to say, unlike you, but he feels Levi wouldn’t like that much. 

“You’re not a monster.” Levi relaxes again, “I’ve known monsters.” He swallows, and Eren thinks he can see a hint of nervousness when his captain begins to speak once more. “My mother was a whore. I would watch her get fucked everyday from the closet. I would watch the men that hurt her, their disrespect, their dirty hands…” Levi shakes his head as if stopping himself from speaking, “Eren,” he says, “Those men are monsters. Not you.” 

The younger soldier doesn’t look away from Levi, even if a part of him thinks that would be expected. He thinks about saying sorry, but sympathy isn’t all he feels. “You remind me of Mikasa,” Eren says, “You’ve seen too much horror. But you are not strong because of it. You are strong in spite of it.” 

“I think you mean it the other way around.” Levi sounds bored. 

“No,” Eren says, “I’m right. People want to give an excuse why you two are so amazing, so they say it’s because cruelty has toughened you up. That’s not right. You deserve to be separated from your past and valued for who you are, not what your experiences might have done for you.” 

“Wow, sweetie, you called me amazing,” Levi mocks, but he is smiling. They sit in silence for a moment before Levi says, “You don’t think you’re strong.” 

“I’m not.” Eren replies, “Not like you and Mikasa.” 

“But I can’t be separated from my childhood.” Levi stretches. “Do you know how hard being a person is?”

“I mean-“ 

“My prostitute mother died from starvation, I was then raised by my pedophile, psychopath of an uncle who in turn abandoned me when I was too old for his taste, and then everyone who I had learned to love died because of the Corps.” Levi gets up, “So, yes, Eren, my past will define me for as long as I continue to breath the fucking air inside these walls.” 

Eren doesn’t think, Eren follows Levi as his captain gets up and begins to pace. The soldier touches between Levi’s shoulder blades, traces it down to his waist, and hugs the shorter man from behind. 

“I’m here for you.” 

“Don’t say stuff like that, Eren.” 

Eren’s still not thinking, he kisses Levi’s neck and behind his ear. Levi turns around and returns the kiss. Eren backs himself up against the wall, and he feels compelled to wrap his legs around Levi and let him hold him. But Eren doesn’t dare make anymore bold decisions in that moment. 

“I try to understand you.” Eren whispers into Levi’s neck. “But all that I can come up with is that I’m in love with you.” 

Eren had said it, and he supposes that was another bold decision. But it didn’t feel bold, it felt natural, and Levi did not freeze up like he could have. 

They fall back on the bed, and Eren wishes Levi had more hands to touch him with. Levi is on top of Eren, straddling the taller boy, and Eren wraps his hands around Levi’s neck. Levi pulls back and looks at Eren through his half-lidded, gray eyes, and Eren wants to explode from happiness. 

“This will be an uncomfortable question,” Levi begins breathlessly, “Are you a virgin?”

Eren continues to kiss Levi until the older man more forcefully backs up. 

“Yeah.” Eren pouts, “But fucking pound my ass, I don’t care. I want it.” Eren lets his voice go singsongy and he laughs. 

Levi says, “No.” But he doesn’t frown. “Do you really want me to fuck you?”

Eren practically hisses, “Yes, stop teasing me.” 

“Well,” Levi says, “Not yet. But let me teach you -“

“Wait.” Eren sits up, shaking his head and crossing his legs to try to lessen the throb in his groin. “You’re going to regret it.” The slight panic of memory hits Eren, and he scoots away, practically ashamed. “You’re going to feel sick tomorrow again and I’m not going to let that happen.” 

Levi’s taken back, “It doesn’t matter how I feel tomorrow -“ 

“I’m just going to…” Eren gets up and begins putting on his boots. He feels his face burn. “I need to jack off. I’ll be back.” 

“Wait,” Levi sits dumbfounded at the end of the bed, Eren stands with his hand on the door and his face in flames. “Get me off. I’ll be fine.”

With Levi’s voice low and smooth, his legs spread ever so slightly, his shirt wrinkled around his neck from Eren’s own mouth; Eren cannot possibly say no to touching Levi. He practically runs back over to the mattress and throws himself back at kissing Levi. 

“I’ve never -“ Eren squirms and moves his hand to Levi’s crotch. The soldier tries to keep himself from grinding against his superior’s thigh, but Levi’s hand on the darker boy’s waist only encourages him. 

Eren hastily undoes Levi’s pants, pulling them to the ground. He feels heat and excitement rise in his body, and tries to kiss Levi to distract himself. But Levi only moans into Eren, reminding him of the task at hand. 

He grabs Levi’s cock in his palm, feeling the weight and girth of it. He tries to mentally compare it to his own, but it’s harder to do than expected. Levi impatiently thrusts once into Eren’s hand, but he is gentle. 

“Let me show you,” Levi says, and moves just enough so his own wrist is down Eren’s pants. Eren lets go of Levi’s length for a moment to unzip himself and give his throbbing dick more room for Levi to touch. “You’ve done it before.” Levi says it so gently that Eren feels like he’s being pulled apart. 

Eren has done this before, maybe it was just with himself but he can feel the friction between them is too dry. “Can I spit?” Eren licks his lips. 

“Yeah, yeah…” Levi tilts back as Eren nibbles his throat, “Just get on with it.”

Eren grins and spits into his hand, then proceeds to move it up and down Levi’s dick. He’s surprised his captain seems fine with the sheer dirtiness of the act, but again, this is the same man who sucked the younger off only a few weeks prior. 

Levi’s grip around Eren’s own cock loosens in arousal. He move his hands to Eren’s hips and grabs on tight enough to leave bruises. The leaner man lowers his head into the crook of his captain’s neck as he pumps his length. Levi pushes into Eren, and Eren tries to explain how beautiful Levi looks to him. 

Eren feels Levi tense, and he thinks for a moment that his captain will pull away from his touch, but Levi just holds on tighter. “I’m close-“ Levi moans and bites his lip, his movements even more sporadic. “Eren… Fuck - fuck…” 

“Talkative now?” Eren grunts and smiles and kisses Levi’s jaw. But Eren is slowly losing his composure as well, so he doesn’t resist his urge of tentatively grinding against Levi as he rubs his shaft. 

“Fuck -“ And Levi buckles into Eren, cumming mostly onto himself. “Fuck…” He takes a deep breath and looks away, exposing the perfect angle of his neck that is driving Eren wild. The soldier takes the opportunity to lick it and Levi laughs and kisses Eren right back. 

With a few more thrusts into his own hand, Eren cums, which lands mostly on Levi. Levi grimaces, but he doesn’t swear, and he shakes off Eren’s apologizes. 

“Let me clean up this time.” Levi pulls on his pants and gets up with a slight shiver in his limbs, but the way he looks back down at Eren makes it all worth it for the boy. 

Eren strips off the dirty bed sheet and buttons up his own pants. He watches Levi quietly slip out the door and come back with water, cloths, an extra pillow, and fresh shirt. 

They don’t speak. They don’t speak of their prior conversation or acts. But the peculiarity of the situation feels okay. 

“Can you change your clothes?” Levi says the question as a statement. “There’s stuff in the trunk.” Eren just smiles at his captain. He doesn’t want to move, he wants to sit with his hands on his knees and watch Levi slowly put on his shirt and fluff the pillows forever. But finally he groans and gets up and finds a new pair of pants and shirt. 

“I’m staying here.” Eren says as he shamelessly strips in the corner of the room opposite of Levi. Eren feels that at this time it would be ironic to feel shy.

“Bold” Levi says, and his voice doesn’t sound upset. 

Eren crawls back into to Levi’s cot, and when Levi follows suit and wraps his arms around the Titan-shifter, Eren feels Levi is actually holding him for the first time.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I know the writing style changes half way through... This work is mainly just personal for me, so critiques are 100% welcome but I may not change anything.


End file.
